Can you feel the excitement? It’s Christmas Day, my birthday, The Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving all rolled into one! Of course, I’m speaking of the beginning of the 2010 season’s free-agent market. With so many voids to fill on a near-comically uncompetitive 2009 Chicago Bears squad, success-starved Bears fans like myself are eyeballing all the high-priced talent like glazed ham. The Bears front office has already made drastic moves prior to, and during this season’s free-agent market. Most moves appear to be consistent with what I believe are the team’s best interests, while others I’m suppressing the urge to rush to failure (Mike Martz as the offensive coordinator? Really?)
Let’s take a look at today’s moves:
Brandon Manumaleuna – #86 – TE: This one’s a bit of a head-scratcher for me. I don’t understand why we dropped so much cash on a blocking tight-end, when we already have a good all-around TE in Desmond Clark and a passing TE in Greg Olsen. Could it be that Coach Lovie Smith is finally fed up with watching Olsen whiff on blocks like an adult actress trying to dodge a money shot? It probably has more to do with the fact that new offensive coordinator Mike Martz has good working history with Manumaleuna. Still, it is often said that a team with two starting QB’s has no starting QB’s. So what does a team that has three starting TE’s? Please don’t let the answer be a clusterf#%k. Stay tuned…
What I was expecting: With a Mike Martz scheme being installed, I fully expect for the power-run scheme to be indefinitely shelved for four-wide receiver spreads, exotic screen passes, and pass-wacky vertical strategies (That sound was me throwing-up in my mouth a little. Please ignore.) But that’s what makes signing a blocking TE so perplexing. I thought Martz would insist on veteran wide receiver talent like Laveranues Coles or Terrell Owens. Given those options, I’m glad we signed Manumaleuna instead (Though I wouldn’t mind signing T.O. for a one-year deal. Given his track record, he’s a solid performer who doesn’t turn into a jackass until year two.)
Julius Peppers – #90 – DE: Yes! Oh yes! A thousand times, yes! If this were Olympic Curling, I’d be screaming, “Hurry! Hurry! Sweep harder!” I’m having a full-blown, Nintendo 64-Kid-on-X-Mas-Day-level freak-out right about now. Peppers’ skills are well-known. He will anchor an already better-than-average front four and bring them to an elite level (assuming that Tommy Harris gives us even a sliver of what he once was.) My only question is the length of the deal. Six years? Really? Sounds ambitious.
What I was expecting: I couldn’t ask for anything better. Peppers is the best player in a stacked free-agent market. He was at the top of my wish list. This almost makes up for the fact that Mike Martz is my team’s offensive coordinator (Ignore the dry-heave sounds. It’s just my body adapting to the perceived reality.)
Chester Taylor – #29 – RB: This was a pleasant surprise. Playing behind Adrian Petersen, Taylor has always looked like a feature back masquerading as a third-down back (It could also be argued that running behind the Vikings offensive line could turn any scrub into an all-pro.) Taylor may show up on the depth chart behind Matt Forte, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see him start this season. That’s a testament to Taylor’s underrated skills, and not a knock against Forte, who played hurt last season and struggled behind an offensive line that probably couldn’t defend against Sandra Bullock.
What I was expecting: I thought we might try to re-sign our old workhorse Thomas Jones in the ultimate “Mea Culpa” scenario for allowing him to leave in the first place, or even try wedging LaDainian Tomlinson’s massive ego into a supporting role. Bringing Taylor aboard wasn’t even considered because I never imagined Minnesota would be foolish enough to let Taylor test the market, seeing how Taylor and Peterson made up the ideal two-headed monster when ignoring Peterson’s fumbling problems (I’m almost certain that after hearing the news about losing Taylor, Brett Favre kicked his feet up on the ottoman and said, “Well that’s strike one right there…”)
Other needs: We desperately need offensive linemen, though I’d rather develop them through young draft prospects than free agency, lest we risk repeating the Great Orlando Pace Blunder again. No more paying pro-bowl has-been offensive linemen to see if they’re either just washed-up or extremely washed-up.
Again, I wouldn’t be against dangling a one-year carrot in front of Terrell Owens. If I can root for Jay Cutler and Mike Martz, I might as well root for T.O. too. Hell, let’s just go there completely; are Lex Luthor, Dr. Doom, and Lady Hitler available?
We also must sign Jake Delhomme. Just kidding. Wanted to see who is still paying attention. In a tearful press conference, Delhomme insisted that the Carolina Panthers organization treated him fairly and professionally when delivering the news of his release from the team, which can only mean that Panthers WR Steve Smith was clearly not allowed to break the news to Jake himself.
We also need to shore-up the safety positions, though I’d rather build through the draft. It’s a pity we don’t get to pick until the third round this year… you know… due to the Cutler/Orton trade. It’s also a shame we didn’t make those draft picks conditional… because you can do that, you know?
Screw it. I don’t even care that I just puked in my mouth a bit… we got Julius Peppers!
Edited to add:
I’m watching the Bears press conference right now… Peppers and Taylor aren’t the most articulate athletes I’ve seen, but they certainly appear to be thrilled to be Bears. Manumaleuna on the other hand, while eloquent and a man of few words, looks like he just shot his dog. I don’t know what to make of this yet. Stay tuned…
